To Fathers In Waiting

This weekend across the country fathers are celebrated- and rightfully so. I have found that there are few greater honors in this life than being called “Daddy” and for those men who take that God given role seriously, there is great cause for celebration.

However, in the midst of the celebrations there is a group of men who are overlooked and often forgotten about; those who are fathers in waiting. Those who have a longing in their heart to hold a little hand and to hear that little voice give him that title. While most people imagine the wife being the one to have dreams about growing their family- I have found that more than enough husbands share that dream as well.

So, to the husband who has held his wife month after month of taking pregnancy tests to see them only come out negative- with a broken heart, but a strong will to ensure that she knows he is and will always be there no matter what the tests say.

To the husband who participated in and walked alongside his wife for years of infertility treatments only to continue to hear that a pregnancy is not viable at this time.

To the husband who has filled out paperwork, gone through background checks and answered more questions about his personal life than he ever cared to and is now in the process of awaiting the call that a baby, given through sacrificial love by birth parents, would be placed in his arms as his own.

To the father who realized that parenthood was not the best choice at this time, but alongside the birth mother practiced sacrificial love and chose life and adoption- willingly and lovingly placed that beautiful baby into another man’s arms.

To the father that celebrated the joyful news of a pregnancy only to mourn days/weeks/months later as that little life ended all too early through miscarriage.

Know that you are not forgotten and that your pain is real. While the world may not know your heart is breaking, I do. But more importantly- our God sees and hears and knows.

He hears your prayers and your petitioning. He sees you comfort, console and love your wife through these dark days. He catches every tear that falls from your eye- even if those tears flow while you are completely alone. He has not forgotten you, He has not forsaken you.

Through our personal journey through adoption and struggles with infertility, the Lord has continually pointed me back to Daniel 3:17-18. We find ourselves here, in the midst of the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. As the King is about to throw them into the fiery furnace, they look to the king and say “If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” They first acknowledge that God can save them and stand on the promise that He will save them from the fire, but then they make a statement that affirms who God is. The three young men go on to say that even if God doesn’t rescue them- they will not serve/worship/bow down to any other god. Only their God – the one, true God- is worthy of praise.

To the fathers in waiting- I am not sure what the Lord has in store for you. Can He bring life to a barren womb or fill your home with the pitter-patter of little feet through adoption? Absolutely. Will He? I do not know. But even if He doesn’t- He is still worthy of all honor and praise. As hard as it may be- we cannot let our circumstances dictate what we know to be true about the God we serve. He is good, He is holy, He is just, He is righteous, He is merciful.

So I stand with you, fathers in waiting, trusting that the Lord will do a mighty work that will declare His glory. That even through what seem like dark days, He will consistently show His face as He makes you more like Him. As I pray for you this weekend- I may not know your name, but I rest assured that our God does.

- Josh