Comfort

Today is Christmas in Russ*a and it is currently Christmas morning for our sweet little boy. My heart hurts that we are not able to celebrate with him--to have presents for him to open--and see his excitement as he does. 

This week has been another challenging one filled with lots of questions and very little--ok really, no--answers. We are waiting until the Russ*an government reopens after their holidays and are praying for an answer that would allow us to bring Josiah home. 

I have cried out to our Lord so many times this week, begging for a miracle, for understanding, for peace. I have prayed for belief and confidence to trust in the Lord when I am weak. I can honestly say that I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. 

Saturday morning, I woke up at 3am unable to sleep. I moved to the couch and began begging God for an answer. My heart longs to bring Josiah home. I want to hear him laugh. I want to watch him play with the train Nana and Pop gave him for Christmas and ride in his Clarke's golf cart with his cousins. But the hardest thing for me to come to terms with has been that we may never have to opportunity to see him come to a saving faith in Jesus Christ. I have been praying for his salvation from the time we first saw his picture, and while I know that Christ alone can save him, I may never get the opportunity to tell him about Jesus. 

I sat on the couch and just begged God for his salvation. I prayed, asking even if I never get to physically hold him again to please allow him to believe in the God who created him. I walked up stairs, heading to Josiah's room, but I stopped at the bottom of our stairs. There we have a photograph framed with one of my favorite verses written underneath. I walk by the picture every day, but for some reason the words stood out that morning:

The Lord your God is in your midst,

    a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness; 
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

I have always loved the fact that the Lord quiets us by his love, but in that moment, I honestly felt that the Lord was in my midst. As I set on the steps and read that verse over and over, I truly began to believe that the Lord could save. I am praying the Lord will physically save Josiah, but also that He will spiritually save him. Even if Josiah never gets to come home, our God can save him. It doesn't matter how dark the place that Josiah lives, our God is mighty to save. It doesn't matter if Josiah isn't hearing the Christmas story read on this Christmas morning, our God is mighty to save. Josiah may never do any of things that I would do to teach him the story of the gospel, but our God is mighty to save. 

As I truly began to trust my Savior with the salvation of my child, my confidence began to grow. There is no greater miracle than salvation. If Christ can save me, there is nothing He cannot do. 

At the beginning of this week, I started reading a book called The Red Sea Rules by Robert Morgan. It looks at the Israelites journey through the Red Sea and contains some amazing truth and comfort for dealing with hard times. I really just want to post the whole book here, but that is illegal so I will leave you with a few verses that Morgan uses in his writing and have comforted me this week. Please join us in praying them over the next three days. 

 "And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” Exodus 14:13-14 

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Courtney Leigh