This post is about to be very real and honest and so I am giving everyone a fair warning!
This has been one of the hardest days of my entire life. For those of you who know me personally, you know that I don't cry--like even in situations where I should. But today, I woke up crying and have pretty much ugly cried most of the day today. Our hearts are truly broken today, but our hearts are also rejoicing as tomorrow my little brother is getting married. Most of today, I have flipped back and forth between a time to weep and a time to laugh. I love Hunter and I love Mary Beth and I am so thankful for their marriage and what the Lord is doing in their lives. I am also thankful for a family who will grieve with us even while celebrating.
We are also so thankful for all of the support from our friends and family. Thank you for your calls, your messages, and your willingness to fight for Josiah on our behalf. You will never know the ways that you have touched our hearts today. Your willingness to stop what you are doing and help us fight for a little boy you have never met has brought us to tears.
I wish that I could tell you good news tonight, but we honestly don't know much. We are still waiting to find out what will happen to the families like us who are in process of adopting. We have talked with members of our government and are grateful for the work that they are doing on our behalf. Russ*a is currently in their holiday and so government offices will close tomorrow for the next two weeks and so it may be a few weeks before we know the specific details.
So many of you have asked how we are doing. And I can honestly say that the Lord has been so very faithful to us. We knew that this journey was not an easy one, but we have never been more sure that this is the journey that the Lord has called us to. The call to adopt is deeply rooted in the Gospel and over the past few months has wrapped itself around the very fibers of who we are.
This journey has changed me. It has shown me more about the character of our Father than anything before. Tonight, my brother reminded me of the story of Abraham and Isaac. God had promised Abraham a son and yet then ask Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on an alter. I am seeing a glimpse of the faith that it took for Abraham to travel with his beloved son to a mountain top and build an alter. I am pretty confident that he was begging God to let him return home with his son, and yet he continue ahead. Oh how I wish I had Abraham's faith, a faith to believe that "God will provide" even when our human brains cannot comprehend.
Tonight, I am longing to hold a little boy who is halfway around the world and just waking up from a nap. A little boy with a stubborn streak just like his daddy's and a dimple that has him wrapped around his mama's finger. So I am choosing to believe that God will provide. This seems impossible to me, yet throughout Scripture our God does the impossible. So we pray to the God who created Josiah and who loves him more that we ever could. We pray, asking for His will to be done and choosing to believe that our God can work through our broken hearts and unbelief.
Josiah, I pray that you know much your daddy and I love you. One day I pray that we will tell you of the stories of the people who prayed and called and fought to get you home. While my desire is for you to be in my arms soon, I know that I may not get to hold you, but I also know that the God who made you, loves you. And I pray that you will know and understand His love for you, both now and through salvation in the future. We love you, little man, to Russ*a and back (it seems farther than the moon!).
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13
Courtney Leigh
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven...a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance..." Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 4.
This has been one of the hardest days of my entire life. For those of you who know me personally, you know that I don't cry--like even in situations where I should. But today, I woke up crying and have pretty much ugly cried most of the day today. Our hearts are truly broken today, but our hearts are also rejoicing as tomorrow my little brother is getting married. Most of today, I have flipped back and forth between a time to weep and a time to laugh. I love Hunter and I love Mary Beth and I am so thankful for their marriage and what the Lord is doing in their lives. I am also thankful for a family who will grieve with us even while celebrating.
We are also so thankful for all of the support from our friends and family. Thank you for your calls, your messages, and your willingness to fight for Josiah on our behalf. You will never know the ways that you have touched our hearts today. Your willingness to stop what you are doing and help us fight for a little boy you have never met has brought us to tears.
I wish that I could tell you good news tonight, but we honestly don't know much. We are still waiting to find out what will happen to the families like us who are in process of adopting. We have talked with members of our government and are grateful for the work that they are doing on our behalf. Russ*a is currently in their holiday and so government offices will close tomorrow for the next two weeks and so it may be a few weeks before we know the specific details.
So many of you have asked how we are doing. And I can honestly say that the Lord has been so very faithful to us. We knew that this journey was not an easy one, but we have never been more sure that this is the journey that the Lord has called us to. The call to adopt is deeply rooted in the Gospel and over the past few months has wrapped itself around the very fibers of who we are.
This journey has changed me. It has shown me more about the character of our Father than anything before. Tonight, my brother reminded me of the story of Abraham and Isaac. God had promised Abraham a son and yet then ask Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on an alter. I am seeing a glimpse of the faith that it took for Abraham to travel with his beloved son to a mountain top and build an alter. I am pretty confident that he was begging God to let him return home with his son, and yet he continue ahead. Oh how I wish I had Abraham's faith, a faith to believe that "God will provide" even when our human brains cannot comprehend.
Tonight, I am longing to hold a little boy who is halfway around the world and just waking up from a nap. A little boy with a stubborn streak just like his daddy's and a dimple that has him wrapped around his mama's finger. So I am choosing to believe that God will provide. This seems impossible to me, yet throughout Scripture our God does the impossible. So we pray to the God who created Josiah and who loves him more that we ever could. We pray, asking for His will to be done and choosing to believe that our God can work through our broken hearts and unbelief.
Josiah, I pray that you know much your daddy and I love you. One day I pray that we will tell you of the stories of the people who prayed and called and fought to get you home. While my desire is for you to be in my arms soon, I know that I may not get to hold you, but I also know that the God who made you, loves you. And I pray that you will know and understand His love for you, both now and through salvation in the future. We love you, little man, to Russ*a and back (it seems farther than the moon!).
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13
Courtney Leigh
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