Yesterday was a very hard day for us, good but very hard.
We got up early to head to the orphanage so that we would be there right after the kids finished breakfast. We arrived as they were getting the kids dressed and our little man very clearly recognized us. As soon as they let him in the room, he walked straight to Josh and climbed up in his lap. So many times orphans are scared if men because they just haven't been around them but he very clearly is not scared of Josh.
We got to play with him for about two and a half hours, most of it by ourselves. He loves imitating whatever we do--drawing shapes, making things with pipe cleaners. He is very quick to copy what we do. We brought stacking cups with us, which he had a lot of fun with-- until he realized it was a lot more fun for us to build the tower and him to knock it down!
Our little man is so smart! We brought a Mr. Potato head with us and he had so much fun putting all of the parts in the exact right spot. And he may be a little OCD too-- at one point he put the ears at different heights and he was not ok until we fixed it!
We were in a room next to his class which was hard because he could hear everything that was going on. They were having music time next door and he didn't understand why we couldn't go in (and we have no way to explain that to him!) I picked him up and we started dancing to the music! He was so funny, alternating between being scared as we spun around and clinging to me and laughing as he would bounce up and down in my arms.
We had pulled my phone out to continue to play more music for him and he was so confused at how this thing worked! He kept turning it over and over--pressing all of the buttons. One of the games on my phone lets you draw and so we started teaching him how to play. The lines are a different color each time you touch the screen and so he would touch the screen and then pull his finger back to look at it! He couldn't figure out where the color was coming from!
We got a chance to try clothes on him and then the social worker came to talk with us-- really me as Josh was left to wrestle a 2 year old! And then very quickly, it was time to go.
I picked him up and carried him into his classroom to sit down and eat. I am normally not emotional at all, but I could not stop crying. This is our son--everything about leaving him here feels so wrong. We got to stand and watch him eat for a few minutes, with tears streaming down both of our faces, not knowing when we will be able to see him again.
As we drove away from the orphanage, I thought about the sacrifice God made for us in sending his son to earth. Maybe it is because I have not been a parent until now, but I have always thought of it as the sacrifice Jesus made, not God. But God sent his only son to earth, choosing to be separated from him, for our good. God knew the pain that this journey would cause and yet he choose it anyway, to redeem us and to allow us to be adopted as his children.
Now I am by no means comparing myself to God, but this adoption journey has allowed me to understand so many things about our Father's heart. Even now, I know how much my heart longs to be able to see my little boy again and one day soon that will come. I can only trust that the pain we feel now is a part of a greater story our Heavenly Father is writing-- one of grace, redemption, and adoption as sons. May this story be for his glory alone.
A few prayer request:
1. We are leaving in about 2 hrs to sign paperwork to begin the official adoption process. Please pray for that process to go smoothly.
2. We have met several families who are here for adoptions as well. Two of the families are from the US and just picked up their children. Pray for them as the children get adjusted. One of the families are not believers. Pray for opportunities for the gospel to be shared.
We love you all and are so thankful for your prayers and encouragement!
Josh and Courtney
We got up early to head to the orphanage so that we would be there right after the kids finished breakfast. We arrived as they were getting the kids dressed and our little man very clearly recognized us. As soon as they let him in the room, he walked straight to Josh and climbed up in his lap. So many times orphans are scared if men because they just haven't been around them but he very clearly is not scared of Josh.
We got to play with him for about two and a half hours, most of it by ourselves. He loves imitating whatever we do--drawing shapes, making things with pipe cleaners. He is very quick to copy what we do. We brought stacking cups with us, which he had a lot of fun with-- until he realized it was a lot more fun for us to build the tower and him to knock it down!
Our little man is so smart! We brought a Mr. Potato head with us and he had so much fun putting all of the parts in the exact right spot. And he may be a little OCD too-- at one point he put the ears at different heights and he was not ok until we fixed it!
We were in a room next to his class which was hard because he could hear everything that was going on. They were having music time next door and he didn't understand why we couldn't go in (and we have no way to explain that to him!) I picked him up and we started dancing to the music! He was so funny, alternating between being scared as we spun around and clinging to me and laughing as he would bounce up and down in my arms.
We had pulled my phone out to continue to play more music for him and he was so confused at how this thing worked! He kept turning it over and over--pressing all of the buttons. One of the games on my phone lets you draw and so we started teaching him how to play. The lines are a different color each time you touch the screen and so he would touch the screen and then pull his finger back to look at it! He couldn't figure out where the color was coming from!
We got a chance to try clothes on him and then the social worker came to talk with us-- really me as Josh was left to wrestle a 2 year old! And then very quickly, it was time to go.
I picked him up and carried him into his classroom to sit down and eat. I am normally not emotional at all, but I could not stop crying. This is our son--everything about leaving him here feels so wrong. We got to stand and watch him eat for a few minutes, with tears streaming down both of our faces, not knowing when we will be able to see him again.
As we drove away from the orphanage, I thought about the sacrifice God made for us in sending his son to earth. Maybe it is because I have not been a parent until now, but I have always thought of it as the sacrifice Jesus made, not God. But God sent his only son to earth, choosing to be separated from him, for our good. God knew the pain that this journey would cause and yet he choose it anyway, to redeem us and to allow us to be adopted as his children.
Now I am by no means comparing myself to God, but this adoption journey has allowed me to understand so many things about our Father's heart. Even now, I know how much my heart longs to be able to see my little boy again and one day soon that will come. I can only trust that the pain we feel now is a part of a greater story our Heavenly Father is writing-- one of grace, redemption, and adoption as sons. May this story be for his glory alone.
A few prayer request:
1. We are leaving in about 2 hrs to sign paperwork to begin the official adoption process. Please pray for that process to go smoothly.
2. We have met several families who are here for adoptions as well. Two of the families are from the US and just picked up their children. Pray for them as the children get adjusted. One of the families are not believers. Pray for opportunities for the gospel to be shared.
We love you all and are so thankful for your prayers and encouragement!
Josh and Courtney
LOVE following your story. Praying for you as you return home. Leaving is BY FAR the hardest part of the adoption journey...but soon, you will walk out of the orphanage with your little guy in your arms, and that, will be the most incredible feeling ever.
ReplyDeletePraying for your hearts, and for the other things you requested. Blessings! And Merry Christmas!!